Laughing At Jerks

Conflicted

2007-08-21T10:19:00.000-04:00

So many of you noticed that Laughing at Jerks just kind of stopped. Well, here's the thing. For some reason I suddenly thought maybe I am a jerk for laughing at jerks? And maybe it's giving me bad karma? What do you think?

Mish Mosh

2007-07-19T17:36:00.001-04:00

Hideous Atlantic City style fringed red shirt, equally hideous camo/cargo capris ( I just noticed they are camo ONLY on the front! BONUS), and two tone mary jane heels. Yes, each one in itself is a fashion nightmare, but combined, you get...a nightmare. Call the po-lice. At least she's sassin' it.

Topless

2007-07-16T08:04:00.000-04:00

Apparently No Shirt No Shoes No Service does not apply to muscle bound rednecks buying salt water taffy.

A Croc of Shit

2007-07-05T23:15:00.000-04:00

Never in my life would I imagine that footwear could be the cause of mental anguish and anger. But the 21st Century has brought both upon me, with the invention of not only UGGS but now CROCS. And to send me deeper into a downword spiral of rage, variations of Crocs are starting to spring about. First it was "girl crocs", or mary janes for quitters. Is it really that essential to have a completely washable shoe? Are you that messy? Do you have that much trouble NOT stepping in dog shit?
The End is surely Nigh.

More Park Dorks

2007-07-03T11:59:00.003-04:00

I know, sorry, but there were so many weirdos at the park that day! LIKE FAKE SNAKE DUDE! Who is like 100X more lame than those real snake dudes.

Are You Kidding Me

2007-07-02T10:25:00.000-04:00

An Extra Large Fluorescent Yellow Reflective Construction Vest over a dress with bric-a-brac tied to a necklace. I'm in too much disbelief to even write anything. Wow.

People that Look like their Dogs

2007-06-29T00:53:00.000-04:00

Why do they then style their dog's fur like their hair? Come on. Isn't it bad enoug that your poor dog has to look like you, but need you add to its misery with barrettes and hair clippys?

Fathers Nerdlinger

2007-06-27T09:14:00.000-04:00

At least they have each other? Or something.

Phone Home

2007-06-25T15:33:00.000-04:00

E.T. eats falafel!

Toe Chips

2007-06-23T14:10:00.000-04:00

ew.EW. EEWWWWWW. I almost barfed taking this one. Not only do I have issues with feet, but bare feet on the subway, BUT creepy crusty crumbles coming OFF of the bare feet in the subway!!!!!!!!I'm freaking out.

Size Zero Panties

2007-06-19T12:35:00.001-04:00

Size 16 jeans

Douching at Supper

2007-06-18T00:06:00.000-04:00

Megan from SF sent me this hot piece of fake Burberry wearing man candy who's snout is uncannily Chief Wiggum as far as I'm concerned. "We went to Supperclub and wouldn't you know it? There were super
douche bag dudes in there. This one was my favorite db." Thanks for lookin out Megan!

Mad Hatter

2007-06-12T12:59:00.000-04:00

I am confused, if not perplexed, by this whole scene really. A picnic at the park somehow equals dressing as grossly failed attempts of being a "sexy" Alice in Wonderland? TophatNerd could totally pass as a regular dork sans hat. But Pink Dorothy? reminds me of this chick I used to call Knee Sock Girl in highschool. The one that just didn't get it and always wore trouser socks instead of knee socks

Creme de la Creme

2007-06-07T12:09:00.000-04:00

All these different values of cream make me simultaneously repulsed and hungry for some creme brullee.
Oh, dudes! Will they ever learn to dress themselves?

Purple in the Park

2007-06-05T10:55:00.000-04:00

Remember that total awkwardness of middle school? The boys that refused to lose their Flowbee haircuts and carried around duffle bags instead of backpacks. And the brace face girls who decided to attempt being sexy by incorporating their dance costumes into their white trash wardrobes?
Me neither.

Potato Sack

2007-05-31T11:19:00.000-04:00

The loser of a really intense garbage sack race?

Enter Bull

2007-05-29T23:10:00.000-04:00

Whatever you do, don't wave a red flag infront of this stud.

Candy

2007-05-25T14:54:00.000-04:00

I just had this horrible flashback circa 1998 when raves stopped being cool and candy ravers started taking over KB Toys and raiding their little sister's jewelery boxes. *shudder*

Uggsly

2007-05-24T14:46:00.000-04:00

Once I went into a shoe store in Soho and the clerk asked me if I was looking for the Uggs section and I replied "Most certainly NOT" to which he stared at me in disbelief and proceeded to tell the other workers that I in fact,did NOT want Uggs. Anyway, I really don't understand you ladies that wear these retarded boots. And what is absolutely WORSE is wearing them with capris to accentuate your horrible fashion sense. Did I mention its MAY and not winter?

Christmas Mirrored

2007-05-22T13:17:00.001-04:00

Kri$ Kringle and $t. Nick were totally not aware of each other. They sat back to back, and seriously it was like the Mexican Christmas version of the Patty Duke Show. They laughed alike, walked alike, at times they even talked alike. I lost my mind, obviously.

The Banana That Could've Gained Me Millions

2007-05-21T10:41:00.001-04:00

So I ate this banana the other day, and the brown spot on it was totally Bob Marley. OK I am about to read your mind with the following:
"Oh My God just like the Virgin Mary on toast!!!!!"
"Oh My God you should've sold that on ebay! You could've made millions!"
Sorry folks, I ate it.
And you should know that bananas rot rather quickly.

Crunchy

2007-05-09T23:31:00.000-04:00

I kinda feel like a half-assed attempt at a tie-dye shirt is like way worse than a real attempt at one.

A Tuba, Spiderman, Perms

2007-05-08T15:35:00.000-04:00

Where the hell have I been? I mean, really? Stop sending me your hate mail. I'm back, ok? My computer got a little sick. And my camera. My phone is ok though, even when I'm not. I managed to snap this picture of Spiderman, a dude playing the tuba (when trains went by) and a giant perm whilst I was passed out on a subway bench at the wee hours of the morning. Not the best comeback... I know.

Jammin the Ax

2007-04-24T00:48:00.000-04:00

There's nothin' like a stereotype of a guitar wielding dork with greasy long hair and nerd glasses jammin' cordless on the subway in hopes that some chick will take notice of his guitar skills rather than his stage-crewesque exterior.

BURNSY!

2007-04-18T11:17:00.000-04:00

OMG GEORGE BURNS LIVES AND IS AN UPPER EAST SIDE TRANNY!

Yo, yo

2007-04-17T09:25:00.000-04:00

I feel like nightlife lately has all the makings of my 7th birthday at Chuckee Cheese...shitty stonewashed highwaisted pants, people dressed as giant stuffed rabbits, and some nerdy asian showing off his yo-yo skills in hopes to win friends. This month's theme must be regression. I can't wait until summer

Please Kill the 80s

2007-04-16T20:32:00.000-04:00

Oh come friggin on people. You are killing me.

Webster Hall

2007-04-05T04:19:00.000-04:00

Yea...NEVER go to Webster Hall, under any circumstances..

A Hot Mess

2007-04-03T21:34:00.000-04:00

I don't know what I like best. The HUGE permed hair with a tiny cap perched on top. The leather pants. The sunglasses at night. Or the snoring... I can't pick one.

Iwo Jima

2007-03-29T16:49:00.000-04:00

Awwwww a pile of cuddly leather motorcycle men, getting snuggly on the subway. Am I crazy or do they resemble the photo/statue of IwoJima? USA! USA! USA!

Empty Handed

2007-03-27T13:05:00.000-04:00

I never even go to Fatbaby, yet the Passer Outers follow me there. Best part is some chick took his drink, gulped it then ran away. Even in passed out mode he still has drink hand aka drunk rigormortis

Knit Wit

2007-03-26T22:20:00.000-04:00

Actually I really like the dude knitting a giant Africa scarf on the subway...

Hasbeena

2007-03-23T14:46:00.000-04:00

Remember thaqt episode of POPULAR when they had a clothing drive for the homeless and ended up with 400 hasbeenas? Classic.Apparently girlfriend didn't get the memo. Seven years ago every pre-teen, 50 year old and sorority girl was going apeshit for these things. Now you can get pashminas on 34th street for $5 along with some incense.

Butthead Nowhere to be Found

2007-03-22T12:12:00.000-04:00

Damnit damnit damnit! I see friggin see Beavis on the subway and all I have is a CAMERA PHONE!

Are those boats?

2007-03-20T23:49:00.000-04:00

Holy hell woman! Look at the size of those silver pumps compared to her regular sized dude. Shoes that big only come in big plastic sneakers or gaudy glitter shit that screams HEY IM WEARING CLOWN SHOES. obvs the latter.

PS Pants

2007-03-19T21:00:00.000-04:00

I bet this dude has an exact opposite of these pants at home. I knew they made this shit in cargo shorts to capris to pants, but zipper dresspants, now that is STYLE. Especially with a blazer.

how repulsive.

2007-03-16T17:09:00.000-04:00

You may think this is another post about those glorious footless tights. But no. No it's not. It's about the boy in the brown you barfed at the sheer sight of those footless tights. He's expressing what I haven't had the guts to do all along. I commend thee, sir.

Death to Footless tights

2007-03-14T10:55:00.000-04:00

"Where you left off, I'll take over" Together, they have one ill-fitting pair of trashy pants man.

Start wearing Purple

2007-03-13T23:03:00.000-04:00

Originally I was going to make fun of this retarded lacey leiderhosen outfit (the shorts were KILLING me), but then I realized I also caught retarded E. Hutz as well, right before he made out with retarded lacey leiderhosen girl. The funny thing is, earlier that night I'd been to a Camel event and they had these muscle dudes dressed in the same striped pants, but in a less Christmas style.

B. Franklin

2007-03-12T18:35:00.000-04:00

I appreciate the little things in life, and the attention to detail- like matching your shirt to your Safeway bag. I also love a man who appreciates good music, and Ben here was belting out Tears for Fears "Shout" like a true countryman.

Chest Stain

2007-03-09T10:54:00.000-05:00

There are times to wear a linen shirt, and times not to wear a linen shirt. Ok, I can't really think of the times to wear one,k but I definitely know that you should NOT wear one if A) you will be dancing for six straight hours or 2) you are the sweatiest , smelliest human alive.

Passed out part 984756093486936943

2007-03-08T16:05:00.000-05:00

Again with the pass outs! Do all of you see passed out people everywhere you go or is it just me? The sad part was I saw this guy as I was ENTERING the bar. It was like, midnight. He didn't even finish his glass of urine.

Two Bad Pairs

2007-03-06T17:47:00.000-05:00

Holy hell, what are you holding up with those britches, girl? Your waistline is up to your squatty friend's boobs! You've got 5 inches of denim cumberbun going on. Should I even bother mentioning the red-animal-print-zipper-pocketed-bad 80s Nikes? Nah.

Major Tom

2007-03-05T00:24:00.000-05:00

I love when I see people who make me completely forget what decade I'm in.
OH FABULOUS! Quite simply, J'adore dudes with bangs. The deep V space suit onesies, soon to be for sale at American Apparel, really makes the look. Aging rocker eyeliner for the final touches. They simply don't make men like this anymore.
Sorry about the digital quality circa 1997

This Guy!

2007-03-02T10:56:00.000-05:00

Whoa, I've been slacking lately. Sorry, letting my social butterfly life consume me.
So, did you ever go to one of those Camel Cigs sponsored "concerts"? Talk about WEIRD CROWD. aka a jerk goldmine. The band I saw actually said "we hope that later you enjoy some Camel Cigarettes". Anyway, I had to walk up to this dude dancing and snap his photo. I don't know if it was the saucy removal of his leather jacket, or the fact that it revealed an ALL LEATHER sleeveless mock turtleneck body suit with parachute pants bottoms that reminds me of that store called "One Price $7" or "DOTS" (don't lie, you know that store), or that his pleather/leather pants pockets were full of no-doubt important bulky items, or that he needed giant white sunglasses to shield him from the bright lights of the concert, or that his hair reminded me of Buster Poindexter or that he was all dressed up to dance with some long haired hippy chick rather than an equally amazing leathery mommy or daddy, but yea I dig him.

Snoresly

2007-02-27T00:03:00.000-05:00

Am I always at places with ruphinol cocktails or what? Seriously, I've proven here that the party was in full rage here. Dudesly ate too many downers or something. My flash woke him though, and he ran up the stairs, out the door, and into oblivion. Or just Ludlow.

Quan Li-Huang

2007-02-26T08:27:00.000-05:00

In like 5th grade my school got an influx of all these weird foreign students from Korea, India and the Ukraine. You know, they were super weird because they dressed so oddly out of style, like all the Indian kids wore these 70s wild print button downs. The Ukranian kids wore the standard 80s shit, but freaked us out by wearing stripes with checks or a Dr Huxtable sweater with bright blue plaid pants. Then there were the Korean kids, who tried to fit in by dressing exactly like the girls in popular American movies from a few years before, aka 80s sluts. I guess they are still trying to assimiliate. Nice try.

Camel toe of the ass

2007-02-19T22:49:00.000-05:00

Seriously, when the hell did it become socially acceptable to wear stretch pants ebyond fourth grade? And then not only acceptable but also to consider them "dressy"? I'm tired of seeing your fupa, ladies. Have some grace and wear pants that leave SOMETHING to the imagination!

Bros

2007-02-15T07:14:00.000-05:00

Why the hell is my brain like a steel trap and I remember shit like this horrible british "band" from the 80s called "BROS"? And so of course one too many rum and cokes had me convinced that this dude was one of them. And of course he replies to me in broken Enlgish "ahhhhhh you doo-ahhh theee co-caine ya?" AND why the hell does BROS have a greatest hits album?

HAPPY LOVE DAY!

2007-02-14T08:55:00.000-05:00

Oh, Makeout Couple at Odessa's. So playful in your straddling. When the guy in the hunting season hat bit the girls who still has her tongue pierced in 2007's boob, I brimmed over with the love that filled the dirty bar. I'm sorry that I tainted your love with my incessant flashes, but I know that you gave me the finger to symbolize how together you two become "1"

It's 2007?

2007-02-12T22:38:00.000-05:00

I really hate it when I'm doing floor moves, and my shirt gets in the way, and then my tiger balm runs into my eyes and then I spill my drink from the Smart Bar all over my Jncos.

Terry Richardson

2007-02-07T23:58:00.000-05:00

Lonely.....I'm Mister Lonely.....

I'm an asshole

2007-02-06T23:34:00.000-05:00

USA! USA! USA!

ZZ TOP

2007-02-05T20:37:00.000-05:00

Someone tell me why the hell I was at this bar with old dudes and chainlink fences!

Bleached Beefcake

2007-02-02T12:34:00.000-05:00

Just because you own a string of sexy gyms and your wife is a nightlife legend doesn't mean you can turn a cheesy irish bar into a lap-dance-a-thon. (or have blonde tendrils in 2007) Extra points for sending your employees over to try to sell us a gym membership

Breakfast at Tiffany's

2007-01-31T12:01:00.000-05:00

AND I SAID WHAT ABOUT BREAKFAST AT TIFFANY'S?SHE SAAAAAID I THINK I REMEMBER THE FILM AND IF I RECALL I THINK WE BOTH KINDA LIKED IT AND I SOMETHING SOMETHING THE ONE THING WE GOT!

Sideburns

2007-01-30T11:20:00.000-05:00

Again, going to a goth club and being shocked is like going to a loony bin and wondering why everyone is crazy. But I do respect this chick's emphasis on the importance of sideburns. I mean, her fearlessness to still have the coveted sideburns with a partially shaved skull really inspires me.
Really.

Hey Pig

2007-01-29T13:27:00.000-05:00

This is what I get for going to a Goth club in Chicago. And to me glee, the curtains matched the drapes...er his pigliness was really fitting.

Tieflage

2007-01-26T05:34:00.000-05:00

Flage.Tiedye.

Tire Tracks

2007-01-25T12:23:00.000-05:00

I am dismayed to find that my old brit pop haunt in my hometown has become a nerd convention, complete with losers who share a bottle of hairdye to bleach tire tracks into their hair.

Trenchcoat Mafia

2007-01-24T13:28:00.000-05:00

Remember how those kids on stage crew in highschool used to wear black jeans with tucked in black faded turtle necks and trenchcoats? And what if those kids moved to fashion forward New York where they could finally blend in with the colorless masses, but then wanted to embrace New York's no holds barred fashion diversity? So I guess they'd still need their key pieces of turtle neck and trenchcoat, but, you know, take a bit of a fashion risk, maybe? I guess.

Jacket on Jacket off

2007-01-23T01:51:00.000-05:00

Whichever is your pleasure

Hardly working

2007-01-19T12:34:00.000-05:00

The worst possible to pass out infront of while I'm doing my homework and you are supposed to be working as a guard is me. Especially if you make me move my jacket off of the chair that is 2 inches from me so that you may pass out and snore.

Exit Stage Left

2007-01-18T13:11:00.000-05:00

The worst possible person to pass out on a stage infront of is me, and Costa Diva.

Security Sleeping

2007-01-17T00:55:00.000-05:00

The worst possible person to pass out infront of while being a bouncer is me.

Kitchen Sleeper

2007-01-16T00:06:00.000-05:00

The worst possible person to pass out infront of at a party is me.

Soap Pillow

2007-01-15T12:04:00.000-05:00

The worst possible person to pass out at a party infront of is me, of course. Because I will not only well document it, but I will share my findings with the world. Now, I know I am totally damning myself to pass out at a party after all of the ones I've caught on digi-film, but seriously- how does one pass out at a party?! Or worse yet, a bar? And the kicker, using a stolen bar of Bath and Body Works glycerin soap as a pillow.

My Dear Fans,

2007-01-09T17:13:00.000-05:00

I'm so sorry I've been MIA. I'm in Texas working...and barely any internet access! (damn those 12 hour days!) I will be back in full effect next week. In the meantime, before I left New York City, I was at a little birthday gathering when some dork got on the mic and started telling really lame Michael Jackson pedophilia jokes. I thought to myself, "how friggin' 90s is this dude?" and was not at all surprised to turn around and find the jokester to be Mr. 90s himself! Moby! Everything is Wrong!

Ice Capades

2007-01-02T10:52:00.000-05:00

In the far off city of Monreal, they still practice an ancient and rare tradition- winter. Twinkle toes was showing off for the ladies then SLAM! over the side of the fence. Kodak moment personified.

Nickelodeon Moon Shoes

2007-01-01T23:44:00.000-05:00

How sexy. Not only did I feel like a loser at goth night at Luke and Leroy's, but i got to see a free boob!It was almost worth all that corpse dancing.

Paparazzi

2006-12-30T21:12:00.000-05:00

Dude man was following my roommate and took about 20 pictures of him, we have no idea why.
Now I know what people feel like when they see me.

Happy Hour

2006-12-28T13:32:00.000-05:00

Oh man. So this woman was sitting all night at Odessa's. Totally looked like she just came from work- starched white shirt, black blazer, Claire Huxtable hairstyle. Then she gets up to leave and WHOA! maroon spandex pants! It's like she got wild at happy hour and took half of her power suit off. yowza!

Bananas

2006-12-26T11:13:00.000-05:00

I tried sooo hard to get a better picture of this banana suit dude but he just wouldn't turn aruond! I threw in the referee for good measure. So many fashion mistakes under one roof....

Pleatherette

2006-12-25T15:22:00.000-05:00

This is exactly what I would wear to a dive in Buffalo, New York in the middle of winter. I will assume that the wears and tears are from excessive "rocking out."

BEST DUDE EVER

2006-12-22T13:52:00.000-05:00

Sometimes pictures really speak for themselves...

Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum

2006-12-21T12:42:00.000-05:00

Same weird outfit: check. Simultaneously pull out playbill: check. Musing about Broadway show:check. Same creepy laugh: eeeeeeee! Twilight Zone!!!

How I Feel Today

2006-12-20T13:12:00.000-05:00

Oh my God the internet at my parent's house is so slow that I want to fucking kill someone. Or drink to excess, lose a shoe, pass out on Avenue A and 8th street and have jerks gawk over me and take pictures without even losing a wink of sleep.

Costa Diva Strike 2

2006-12-18T13:19:00.000-05:00

She does it again! My guest hostess Costa Diva poses with this creepster dude, who came up to me and announced that he is a 22 yr old former Gucci model. He then whined to me for like 2 hours about how Gucci cast him aside, telling him he was too old to continue with their "ad campaigns." I say its just because he is fucking cheesy

Banana Clipper

2006-12-15T12:44:00.000-05:00

What do you do when you're a metal dude during the day but a crazy punkrocker at night? Duh, banana clip mohawk!

A Fried Egg

2006-12-14T09:54:00.000-05:00

Kids, this one is about your brain on drugs. What you can't see is that girlfriend is sitting on my bag- which was full of 2 water bottles, a hardcover book, magazine, amongst other things. She didn't notice. It was seriously the pointiest and bulkiest bag I've carried in a long time. I couldn't figure out how she didn't notice. Then I saw that face! Oh, that face. The tongue she is unable to control, half out, kinda just laying there mid-mouth. The creepy focused/unfocused eyes. Drugs are NOT pretty, children! She' lucky the bar was pitch black, thank god for flash photography. I suppose this one isn't as fair because it's more about the action than the visual, but I guess I could mention the cheesy Holiday Party halter from Express and the Nike hightops that weren't even cool in the 80s.

Most Annoying Couple

2006-12-13T11:34:00.000-05:00

Moments before they noticed me, dudesly and girlf BOTH had their shirts up and were "rubbing tummies." I was so horrified that it took me a few minutes to finally whip out the camera to capture the grossness.

Costa Diva Strike 1

2006-12-12T01:00:00.000-05:00

You really don't want to pass out anywhere in the presence of my friend Costa Diva. Probably the most fun person ever, she will easily co-host a jerk siting, and interact with your lifeless body. I don't know what they're putting in those drinks at the Delancey (seriously they are so strong I could feel the hair on my chest growing), but it must be good- good enough to make everyone pass out. This poor girl didn't stir at all through Costa's posing assault. Love it.

Skating Star

2006-12-11T11:16:00.000-05:00

Deep in the bowels of Central Park, lies an area of intrigue and mystery. A giant oval is chalked off, signifying a barrier of sorts. (DO NOT CROSS THE CHALK YOU MORTALS!) A flashback to 1990s house music grates on the brain. Where am I? Quantum Leap? And then gliding back and forth, forwards, backwards, spinning round and round in tight tight shiny spandex leaving nothing to the imagination- are New York's biggest freaks. They gather and "skate jam" for hours on end. I am perplexed. Yet, I can never look away. Not far away, congregate the "serious skaters", skating cone obstacle courses in SILENCE.
This lady has to be in her late 60s. And let me tell you, she was "on" the whole time, with her performance face, shimmying in that spandex outfit for anyone who'd watch (and really, who couldn't look away?!)

Fabulous Freshmen

2006-12-08T15:16:00.000-05:00

typical scene on FIT's campus
(i'm losing my edge aren't i)

El Sleepo

2006-12-07T01:37:00.000-05:00

This is what happens when you go to a Spanish folk music show. I would've probably done the same had I not felt like a complete loser for being the only person there that did not understand Spanish.

Wilfred Brimley

2006-12-06T14:59:00.000-05:00

"Just takin' the ole 'stache for a walk, to get some Quaker Whole Grain Oatmeal. It sticks with ya"

Burberry Mummy

2006-12-05T11:17:00.000-05:00

Girlfriend, I love drag queens, don't get me wrong. I've been a fag hag since age 14, and we can thank Paper magazine for that. But seriously, please please PLEASE learn to sew instead of wrapping Burberry toilet paper around your body like a ghetto mummy Halloween costume. Unless of course that's your theme and next time you cut eye holes out of a Burberry sheet to be a ghetto Burberry ghost, in which case I applaud your jovial creativity!

Hot Pants

2006-12-04T09:51:00.000-05:00

Where is the flaw in the brain of the hipster that sends the body the "greenlight" to wear hot pants with tights with thigh highs with knee socks with high boots? Pants may get the same job done, but clearly they are too simplistic.

Hippies

2006-12-02T00:26:00.000-05:00

I feel comfortable at The Delancey, too. The top garden floor is pretty serene with all the foliage and the fountains. But, dude, it's a BAR! This is NYC! That disgusting floor is covered with subway stank, spit, and tuburculosis. I watched this chick frolicking barefoot, and as I was about to take a pic of her jumping about, she literally fell onto the couch with dudesly and passed out in 0.5 seconds.

Pencil

2006-12-01T22:48:00.000-05:00

Hi I look like an old timey gothic pencil.

Casper the Yellow Ghost

2006-11-29T20:03:00.000-05:00

Ok I'm a total asshole.
Dudesly makes like a parakeet. Just throw a blanket over him and he's out like a light.

Zambies

2006-11-28T13:02:00.000-05:00

Jason has shown me the recipe that the bush men use to get the ladies: sexy/sassy/suggestive shirt, tie dye, wild look in the eyes, and of course big crazy knife. This look also works in parts of Staten Island.

Beer Stealer

2006-11-27T09:43:00.000-05:00

I love when the drunkest dudes at the party, the ones that try to steal your beer or yell PARRRTYYYY and create a dancefloor, simply can't understand why everyone isn't in full party mode like he is. Then, approximately 20 minutes later, he is guaranteed to be passed out somewhere. His 120 lb hipster body becomes dead weight, and he isn't moving unless you want your floor covered in vomit. Then I take pictures of them. I tried to pose him but he woke up- and tried to swipe my beer. Yes.

Ehhhhh Bruno!

2006-11-23T12:57:00.000-05:00

Bruno loves to take the ferry from Staten Island into the city to party! he's sometimes in such a hurry to party, that he carelessly forgets to wipe his face after eating a nice sandwich on ciabatta bread.
Ew ew the curly lips ew

Fans of David Blaine

2006-11-22T12:57:00.000-05:00

Dude, if I was camping out to watch David Blaine in a suspended gyroscope for 3 days, I'd definitely surrender fashion for function and NOT wear jeans which expose my entire thigh. But you know what, the spotlights just MIGHT catch a glimmer of that alabaster skin, and David, suspended high above Times Square may see that flesh, and feel purpose in his antics. Thank you torn jeans girl, for showing us the way.

Purse Rack

2006-11-21T11:45:00.000-05:00

I remember in like, the 90s, dudes in the hardcore scene would always try to get their chicks to "hold my Groundwork/Earth Crisis/Brother's Keeper hoodie while I go in THE PIT". To which I'd ALWAYS reply "Dude, I'm not a coat rack" And although this is a shitty pic, this reminded me of that, as Purse Rack happily held his girlfriends handbag while she danced like a slut on a go-go box. Awww!!

The Teacher Doubled

2006-11-20T11:01:00.000-05:00

So initially, I was sent this photo of this cheesy fro dude on the subway by guest jerk hunter, Jesse. Haha I says. Then I went out Friday night to one of those places where they have a stage on the dancefloor, you know so all the cheesiest people can get up there and sing along to everyone else? So there was SubwayFro's Twinsy, who I nicknamed The Teacher. For EVERY song, he "mouthed along", and I say mouth instead of sang along, because dudeman didn't know ANY words, he just kind of looked like a vantriliquist doll. Anyway, he'd be all mouthy and point his finger to his temple, like "THINK ABOUT THIS, PEOPLE"..and I thought about it. I thought long and hard about what The Teacher may be trying to convey to me.

Bad Art

2006-11-19T11:29:00.000-05:00

Today's special Sunday edition of Laughing at Jerks highlights a rising contemporary artist, fresh on the New York Scene. Note the rich application of paint and Impressionist style in the whimsical piece with two tomatoes soulfully playing saxophones in a lush meadow. Feel the artist's escapist notions as three hot air balloons, adorned with music notes, carry away three sets of men boxing... and then the Piece de resistance, the tomato and beatnik sax jam..what does this say about our society today? What does it say about produce? Is there a place for beatniks and tomatoes alike in this harsh cruel world?

So Coy

2006-11-17T00:39:00.000-05:00

I hate when you're on the subway and you're next to someone who looks at themselves in the reflection of the subway doors the whole time, and makes faces and stuff. And its worse when you're across from someone who just discovered a) their camera phone or b) their face and they pose and pose and take pics of themselves over and over while you watch helplessly. What will be next? Coy? Surprised? Sexxxy? Kill me. I had to watch this guy do just that from like 34th Street all the way to Queens.

To Kelly from Justin, With Love

2006-11-15T13:46:00.000-05:00

Dude in the background is prancing around what he thinks is the sexually ambigious dude from American Idol- you know, the one that made that AMAZING beach movie??